Day 1

Today I started another 21 day fix. I have every intention of finishing this one, I have a half marathon on January 1, friends visiting from California in March and I've been feeling worse and worse about how I look lately. I thought that maybe sharing more about my journey this time would help me stick to it. I got my workout in this morning, which I'm very proud of and I joined my parents for a bulletproof coffee. I know this isn't totally 21dfx approved, but it makes for a good breakfast and it gives me a chance to spend some time with my parents.

For my morning snack I had a delicious pear, it was amazing and super juicy. For lunch I had a huge salad of greens, bell peppers, tomatoes and ground turkey. So nice to have fresh veggies at lunch.

When I got home I had a peanut butter chocolate shakeology shake with almond milk. Dinner was an affair of broccoli, asparagus and beef over brown rice with a dessert of fruit salad. It was a little difficult to eat with my furry dinner companion, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Today...

Today I weighed myself for the first time since my last post.

Today I had gained more weight than I have in a long time.

Today I had to pull out my work pants that are a size bigger so that I didn't look like a sausage.

Today I started a 21 day fix.

This time I am going in with the intention of continuing through the holidays. I'm so tired of feeling like crap. Of feeling like I'm not worth the work it will take to lose the weight. Of feeling ugly. I've decided that this time I'm not only going to document my weight losses and inches last, but I'm also going to document my emotions through this whole ordeal. So to start out, this morning I felt like crap, I was tired because of the amount of sugar I had this weekend, I felt like crap about myself after weighing and I really really didn't want to work out. My workout was really hard because I haven't been working out, I've been slacking on my health and I can feel it. I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling like I can't make it through a 30 min workout. But I did make it through and I'll continue on. 

One of the ladies I work with is also working on losing the same amount of weight and we've gotten really close and she's agreed to help me stay accountable if I help her. It's nice to have, since a lot of my triggers are at the school, mostly on the student store where they have unhealthy snacks and soda, stuff I'm trying to avoid. But I'm on my way and I'm not quitting!

3 Mother F'ing Pounds

When I woke up this morning I weighed myself and I was up 3 lbs.  3 LBS! How in the hell am I up 3 lbs from yesterday?  I've been sticking to plan so well this week and getting all my workouts in.  But 3 lbs?  Really? I know that I shouldn't weigh everyday and I shouldn't put so much stock into a number on a scale, but that seems like a big gain.  I've avoided soda and all drinks except tea, one cup of coffee and water alone.  I'm going to stay the course, but this is a very discouraging day.  I know it's a long term journey and I really need to get to where I only weigh once a week and that I'm ok with just making progress.  What other ways can I measure progress?  I know big things like changing sizes in clothing and being able to run further, but what about on a smaller scale?

What do you do to measure fitness progress?

Back in the saddle again

I was on track really well with my weight loss this summer.  I had the whole family doing the 21 Day Fix, I was getting all of my workouts in, my nutrition was on point and I was feeling awesome.

Then I had a bombshell dropped on me.  The 2 week break the restaurant I was working at was taking, was extended to 7 weeks (eventually they decided to close the restaurant all together).  This really threw a wrench into our finances, as in I now had no income for 2 months.  I took a job at another local restaurant just to help us financially, but it was much longer hours for much less pay.  They are very different types of restaurants, so tips weren't nearly as much at the second restaurant.  Add to all of this that the Monday after we got this pretty devastating news, we moved into a new house, a house that Steve hates, we're making it work now, but it was hard at first.

With all of these stressors, I completely fell off the wagon.  We had no internet for 3 days, which is a great excuse for not working out when your workouts are streamed.  I realized that my planned trip to Cali in November had to be cancelled as we wouldn't have the funds for it anymore, so there went my motivation.  I tried to start a few times, but I' was really struggling with depression and I couldn't pull myself out of it.  Depression is something I have struggled with most of my life.  I'm not big into pharmaceuticals, so the best way I've found for me to deal with it is diet and exercise

.  When I get out of the habit of eating well and exercising I enter a cycle that feeds into itself and I find myself feeding my mind with very negative thoughts.

I finally realized that I don't want to go into my 32nd year at the size I am now.  I also signed up to run a half marathon with my friend Tiffany on January 1.  So I started last Tuesday in earnest.  These last 2 weeks I have prepped my food for the week at the beginning.  Not just my meals, but my snacks and everything, except my Shakeology.  Last week I missed a couple workouts, but this week I've gotten them all in and started my running training back up.

I'm feeling much better, I can feel the fog of depression lifting and I'm getting back to feeling like me again.  I'm excited to see where I can push myself to in my fitness.  I've set up a system of rewards, all non food related, and I'm pumped to continue on my journey, I'll update as I move along this path.

Starting at the Beginning

Ok, so those of you that know me in real life know that often, when I say things they spark lyrics from a song in my head.  Well today was no exception, as I got ready to start the She Sweats 12 Week Transformation Program from He and She Eat Clean all I could think of was Julie Andrews and The Sound of Music.  But indeed the beginning is a very good place to start, I've gotten off track lately and let my health slip from my number 1 priority.  What I've realized is that weight loss is difficult for me because I am too ready to make excuses for why I don't need to stick to a healthy way of eating.  I've recently started a job at Ad Astra, and while the food is amazing, it's not super healthy for the most part, like most restaurants, I've eaten a meal from the restaurant after every shift and then eaten crap when I came home.  I'm going to have to exercise some self control if I want to lose weight and gain strength.  I'm sticking to the eating plan in the 12 Week Transformation program and I'm making a comitment to do the exercises as they are set forth.  Now that summer's here and school is out I can either spend my time working out or lazing around the house, and I would much rather work out and have something to show for my time off when school rolls back around.

Weigh In Wednesday - 2

So for my second installment of Weigh in Wednesday I'm happy to report that I had substantial weight loss this week.  I'm super excited about it and it totally validates my eating choices.  I did pretty well on sticking to plan this week except Saturday when we grabbed burgers and fries for lunch, but then we went on the 12 mile hike, so I feel like I worked it off.  Also, I know there are going to be times that this happens, I can't be perfect all the time.  So here's the update:

Weight:

• Starting Weight: 219.2 lbs
• Last Week's Weight: 219.2 lbs
• This Week's Weight: 213.8 lbs
• This Week's Change: 5.4 lbs
• Total Change: 5.4 lbs

Tasty Tuesday

So for my first Tasty Tuesday post I thought I'd point you in the direction of a blog I ready regularly, Naked Cuisine.  It's written by a very thoughtful woman named Chantelle from British Colombia and she consistently posts wonderful recipes.  But for this week I wanted to show you the version of her Sloppy Jane recipe that I made Saturday after our hike.   The only things I did differently were that I didn't top the yams with sugar, I didn't make the tortillas and I used salsa we already had.  These were amazing and really fit the bill of satisfying us after a longish hike.  I would highly recommend the recipe and I am now wanting to find more ways to incorporate molasses into my cooking.  Here's the pic of how my bowls turned out:

So much color and so many delicious delicious flavors combined!  I hope you enjoy her blog as much as I do!