Day 1

Today I started another 21 day fix. I have every intention of finishing this one, I have a half marathon on January 1, friends visiting from California in March and I've been feeling worse and worse about how I look lately. I thought that maybe sharing more about my journey this time would help me stick to it. I got my workout in this morning, which I'm very proud of and I joined my parents for a bulletproof coffee. I know this isn't totally 21dfx approved, but it makes for a good breakfast and it gives me a chance to spend some time with my parents.

For my morning snack I had a delicious pear, it was amazing and super juicy. For lunch I had a huge salad of greens, bell peppers, tomatoes and ground turkey. So nice to have fresh veggies at lunch.

When I got home I had a peanut butter chocolate shakeology shake with almond milk. Dinner was an affair of broccoli, asparagus and beef over brown rice with a dessert of fruit salad. It was a little difficult to eat with my furry dinner companion, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Today...

Today I weighed myself for the first time since my last post.

Today I had gained more weight than I have in a long time.

Today I had to pull out my work pants that are a size bigger so that I didn't look like a sausage.

Today I started a 21 day fix.

This time I am going in with the intention of continuing through the holidays. I'm so tired of feeling like crap. Of feeling like I'm not worth the work it will take to lose the weight. Of feeling ugly. I've decided that this time I'm not only going to document my weight losses and inches last, but I'm also going to document my emotions through this whole ordeal. So to start out, this morning I felt like crap, I was tired because of the amount of sugar I had this weekend, I felt like crap about myself after weighing and I really really didn't want to work out. My workout was really hard because I haven't been working out, I've been slacking on my health and I can feel it. I hate feeling like this, I hate feeling like I can't make it through a 30 min workout. But I did make it through and I'll continue on. 

One of the ladies I work with is also working on losing the same amount of weight and we've gotten really close and she's agreed to help me stay accountable if I help her. It's nice to have, since a lot of my triggers are at the school, mostly on the student store where they have unhealthy snacks and soda, stuff I'm trying to avoid. But I'm on my way and I'm not quitting!

3 Mother F'ing Pounds

When I woke up this morning I weighed myself and I was up 3 lbs.  3 LBS! How in the hell am I up 3 lbs from yesterday?  I've been sticking to plan so well this week and getting all my workouts in.  But 3 lbs?  Really? I know that I shouldn't weigh everyday and I shouldn't put so much stock into a number on a scale, but that seems like a big gain.  I've avoided soda and all drinks except tea, one cup of coffee and water alone.  I'm going to stay the course, but this is a very discouraging day.  I know it's a long term journey and I really need to get to where I only weigh once a week and that I'm ok with just making progress.  What other ways can I measure progress?  I know big things like changing sizes in clothing and being able to run further, but what about on a smaller scale?

What do you do to measure fitness progress?

Back in the saddle again

I was on track really well with my weight loss this summer.  I had the whole family doing the 21 Day Fix, I was getting all of my workouts in, my nutrition was on point and I was feeling awesome.

Then I had a bombshell dropped on me.  The 2 week break the restaurant I was working at was taking, was extended to 7 weeks (eventually they decided to close the restaurant all together).  This really threw a wrench into our finances, as in I now had no income for 2 months.  I took a job at another local restaurant just to help us financially, but it was much longer hours for much less pay.  They are very different types of restaurants, so tips weren't nearly as much at the second restaurant.  Add to all of this that the Monday after we got this pretty devastating news, we moved into a new house, a house that Steve hates, we're making it work now, but it was hard at first.

With all of these stressors, I completely fell off the wagon.  We had no internet for 3 days, which is a great excuse for not working out when your workouts are streamed.  I realized that my planned trip to Cali in November had to be cancelled as we wouldn't have the funds for it anymore, so there went my motivation.  I tried to start a few times, but I' was really struggling with depression and I couldn't pull myself out of it.  Depression is something I have struggled with most of my life.  I'm not big into pharmaceuticals, so the best way I've found for me to deal with it is diet and exercise

.  When I get out of the habit of eating well and exercising I enter a cycle that feeds into itself and I find myself feeding my mind with very negative thoughts.

I finally realized that I don't want to go into my 32nd year at the size I am now.  I also signed up to run a half marathon with my friend Tiffany on January 1.  So I started last Tuesday in earnest.  These last 2 weeks I have prepped my food for the week at the beginning.  Not just my meals, but my snacks and everything, except my Shakeology.  Last week I missed a couple workouts, but this week I've gotten them all in and started my running training back up.

I'm feeling much better, I can feel the fog of depression lifting and I'm getting back to feeling like me again.  I'm excited to see where I can push myself to in my fitness.  I've set up a system of rewards, all non food related, and I'm pumped to continue on my journey, I'll update as I move along this path.

Starting at the Beginning

Ok, so those of you that know me in real life know that often, when I say things they spark lyrics from a song in my head.  Well today was no exception, as I got ready to start the She Sweats 12 Week Transformation Program from He and She Eat Clean all I could think of was Julie Andrews and The Sound of Music.  But indeed the beginning is a very good place to start, I've gotten off track lately and let my health slip from my number 1 priority.  What I've realized is that weight loss is difficult for me because I am too ready to make excuses for why I don't need to stick to a healthy way of eating.  I've recently started a job at Ad Astra, and while the food is amazing, it's not super healthy for the most part, like most restaurants, I've eaten a meal from the restaurant after every shift and then eaten crap when I came home.  I'm going to have to exercise some self control if I want to lose weight and gain strength.  I'm sticking to the eating plan in the 12 Week Transformation program and I'm making a comitment to do the exercises as they are set forth.  Now that summer's here and school is out I can either spend my time working out or lazing around the house, and I would much rather work out and have something to show for my time off when school rolls back around.

Weigh In Wednesday - 2

So for my second installment of Weigh in Wednesday I'm happy to report that I had substantial weight loss this week.  I'm super excited about it and it totally validates my eating choices.  I did pretty well on sticking to plan this week except Saturday when we grabbed burgers and fries for lunch, but then we went on the 12 mile hike, so I feel like I worked it off.  Also, I know there are going to be times that this happens, I can't be perfect all the time.  So here's the update:

Weight:

• Starting Weight: 219.2 lbs
• Last Week's Weight: 219.2 lbs
• This Week's Weight: 213.8 lbs
• This Week's Change: 5.4 lbs
• Total Change: 5.4 lbs

Tasty Tuesday

So for my first Tasty Tuesday post I thought I'd point you in the direction of a blog I ready regularly, Naked Cuisine.  It's written by a very thoughtful woman named Chantelle from British Colombia and she consistently posts wonderful recipes.  But for this week I wanted to show you the version of her Sloppy Jane recipe that I made Saturday after our hike.   The only things I did differently were that I didn't top the yams with sugar, I didn't make the tortillas and I used salsa we already had.  These were amazing and really fit the bill of satisfying us after a longish hike.  I would highly recommend the recipe and I am now wanting to find more ways to incorporate molasses into my cooking.  Here's the pic of how my bowls turned out:

So much color and so many delicious delicious flavors combined!  I hope you enjoy her blog as much as I do!

Monday Motivation

So my motivation this week is me!  Steve and I went for a "small" hike on Saturday to see how far away the Tallgrass Prairie National Preserve is from our house, as we want to do a huge hike this summer when the munchkin is out here.  I want to say that Steve and I manage to make hikes way bigger than they were originally intended .  Well, this little hike turned out to be 12 miles long round trip.  What is so motivational about it for me is that I wasn't winded, nor did my body get tired throughout the entire thing.  Last summer we did an 8 mile hike I was ready to lie down and sleep on the trail after 4 miles.  This time I was good to go, I know that my training has helped and it gives me the motivation to keep going so that we can go on longer and harder hikes!  It also let me get the "Trail Shoe" badge on my Fitbit for getting more than 30,000 steps.  Now to work on the next badge!

Here's some pictures of the beauty of spring here in the county as witnessed on our hike.

First Weigh In Wednesday

Ok, so we're hear for my first Weigh In Wednesday and I have to say I'm a little nervous to be putting my weight and measurements out there for the world to see, but if I'm not completely honest with you guys I can't be completely honest with myself.  So here goes:

Weight:

• Starting Weight: 219.2 lbs
• Last Week's Weight: N/A
• This Week's Weight: 219.2 lbs
• This Week's Change: 0 lbs
• Total Change: 0 lbs

Measurements:

	3/25/2015	Total Loss
Chest	44.5"	0"
Waist	39"	0"
Hip	49.25"	0"
Thigh	27.5"	0"
Upper Arm	16.25"	0"
Neck	14"	0"

Pictures:

Weight Loss, Paleo and Taking the blog in a new direction

As you may have guessed from the title of this post and the fact that I've changed the title of this blog, I've decided to take it in a new direction.  I want this to be a chronicle of my trials and (hopefully) successes to lose weight.  I figure that's what most of the posts on here are about any way and I really won't be sewing or knitting any clothing until after I've gotten some of my weight off.  I've decided to really make a lifestyle change as I've managed to try most diets and yo-yo my way back up way above where I want to be.  I am addicted to certain foods and I have a really hard time with self control when it comes to food, this is not a new thing for me.  As a high schooler I used to sneak across the street to my high school when my parents weren't home to buy junk food out of the vending machines since my parents would never have bought me that type of stuff as I struggled with my weight.  I need to address the issues I have with food, the emotional eating, the binging and the feeling that I really deserve to eat crap.  Well I don't, no one does, I shouldn't reward or punish myself with food.  I want to get to a point where I can enjoy my meals but still see them as a source of fuel.  I've debated whether or not to take the blog this direction but I think I need the accountability of having my journey detailed on the internet for anyone to read.

My plans are this: I want to commit to posting a weekly Wednesday Weigh In, Tasty Tuesday will be for recipes and Motivational Mondays for posts to keep us all going strong.  In conjunction with Wednesday Weigh In I will be posting my measurements monthly along with pictures to really track my progress.  My eating plan is going to be a pretty strict Paleo plan in which I cut out fruit and nuts.  Sugar is a big trigger food for me as are grains, so the Paleo without fruit or nuts (for a while) seems like the best option.  I'm also going to track my calories.  I know that this is not usually a part of a Paleo lifestyle, but I am the queen of rationalization so I can tell myself that I ate really well because I stuck to Paleo, when in reality I ate 2 cups of nuts and 3 cups of fruit, which, while not bad for you, are not great for weight loss.  I'm trying out a couple different apps right now, one being FitBit and the other being MyFitnessPal.  I'm not sure which I'll stick with, but I like that FitBit gives you a calorie deficit to try to hit instead of the calorie count that MyFitnessPal suggests.

I know I can't do this with diet alone so I am planning on some major changes to my sedentary lifestyle.  Steve and I are doing the Couch to 5k (C25k) plan, but we're using the RunDouble app.  I'm also starting the He and She Eat Clean 12 Week Transformation program in our home gym on Monday. It's going to take me a little longer than the 12 weeks since I am modifying the schedule to accommodate our running plan.  Once I'm done with the C25k plan I'm going to start the 5k to 10k plan.  I'm hoping to be able to run a half marathon summer of 2016 and I know that's a big goal, but I think I can do it.  I know this is going to be hard, I have a lot of weight to lose and I have some big fitness goals, but I also know that I'm a really strong person and as long as I keep accountable I can do anything I set my mind to.

So there it is.  I'm kicking my butt in gear and I'm not stopping until I hit that 150 mark.  It will be hard, it will suck at times, but I owe it to myself to stop abusing the body I have and start living the life I want to live.  Steve and I want to hike the Pacific Crest Trail after the munchkin graduates high school in 6 years and I can't do that in my current condition.  Not to mention how sick I am of feeling like crap, battling depression, and being tired all the time.  So this is my manifesto of sorts and I hope you all will join me, or at least support me in my new direction.

Credit

Irish Soda Bread

We went to a St Pat's Day party this past Saturday and I decided to make my Grandma's Irish Soda Bread since my parents are out of town and my Mom wouldn't be making it.  This is the best recipe that I've tried for it and it's pretty simple to make, but it really does need to be made in a cast iron skillet to taste right, it gives the best crust to the bread.  I did make a couple substitutions as is the norm for my family.  Instead of sour cream I used vanilla Greek yogurt, instead of raisins or currants I used 1 cup of yellow raisins, 1 cup regular (purple?) and 1 cup of currants since we had them.  I also omitted the caraway seeds since my Grandma's original recipe noted that she left them out because she didn't have any.  With all that said here's the recipe:

IRISH SODA BREAD

PREP: 15 MINUTES

BAKING TIME: 60–65 MINUTES

OVEN TEMP: 350 DEGREE

SERVES –15

Ingredients:

4 CUPS FLOUR + 1 TABLESPOON FOR DUSTING

½ CUP SUGAR

2 TEASPOONS BAKING POWDER

1 TEASPOON SODA

¾ TEASPOON SALT

3 CUPS RAISONS

1 TABLESPOON CARAWAY SEEDS (OPTIONAL)

2 EGGS, LIGHTLY BEATEN

1 ¼ CUPS BUTTERMILK

1 CUP SOUR CREAM

Directions:

1. Heat oven to 350 degree. Grease a 9 inch cast-iron skillet or baking pan
2. Combine eggs, buttermilk and sour cream in a large bowl.
3. Combine 4 cups flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, raisins, and caraway seeds stir into wet ingredients just until flour is moistened.
4. Knead dough in bowl, about 10 strokes; dough will be very sticky! Shape into a ball; place in skillet. Cut a 4-inch “X” ¾-inch deep, across top of dough. Sprinkle with remaining tablespoon flour.
5. Bake in 350 Degree oven for 60-65 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center tests clean.  Cool in skillet 10 minutes.  Turn bread out onto wire rack to cool completely.

In the pan ready to bake with the deep X cut in the top.

Fresh from the oven!

Hard Day

I'm not sure what's making today so hard, but I feel like everything is a struggle today.  It started getting out of bed, it's just like I couldn't get the energy to manage it.  Then I got to school and it was like I couldn't stand to be there, it wasn't the kids or the fact that I was at work, it was just being somewhere and having to do something.  Then I got home and ended up making dinner and managing to both burn and undercook the chicken.  It's like I just can't manage to grasp anything correctly today.  I just feel like I don't have control of what I'm doing right now and then I managed to upset Steve because I was upset because of the chicken.  I'm just feeling like I can't even do the things I know I'm good at.  Maybe a night at home and a good movie will make me feel better.  Hopefully...