Thursday, January 12, 2012

Resolutions of a Sort

Hello Everyone!  Hope you had a great and wonderful holiday season.  I know mine was super hectic, what with birthday parties and Christmas and then Steve got sick over New Year's, but we're all healthy and doing well now.  The end of the year always gets me thinking about new beginnings and trying to better myself.  This year, a week or so before my 28th birthday I had a break down of sorts.  If you know me in person you know that I've struggled with my weight for the majority of my life and have had some weird body dis-morphia in thinking that I'm way bigger than I am, which causes me to get depressed and eat more, making me bigger than I was.  Well on this particular occasion we were getting ready to go out and I put my jeans on and realized that I had not only worn through the inner thighs, but I had worn through the patches I had made on the inner thighs.  I then tried on my smaller (size 18) pair of jeans and there was no way that I was going to be able to wear them.  I broke down and cried about how I'd completely let myself go and then had to pull myself together to re-patch my (only pair of size 20) jeans.  It made me realize that I really needed to change something.  I thought about doing a full detox but then Steve brought to my attention that every time I try to do something super drastic I don't follow through.  So I thought about it for a couple weeks, meanwhile starting to think about the foods and the portion sizes that I was putting in my body.  I finally decided that I needed to start running again and tracking my calories.  So I found an app (MyFitnessPal) to track my calories, started drinking a gallon of water a day again and started on the Couch to 5k program, which was going great until I misplaced my headphones, but I'm rectifying that today.  I have been walking and doing calisthenics 3 times a week and since that day in December I'm now down a total of 17.2 lbs from my starting weight of 254.8.  My clothes are fitting better and best of all I feel amazing.  I've been eating mostly fresh foods, and cooking at home almost exclusively, though we did go out last weekend, but I managed to stay within my calorie range every day.  I haven't really missed anything as I've made the decision that if I'm going to use calories for it, it better be the best, ie instead of a bigger bowl of diet ice cream I'll have a small bowl of gelato.  I also made the decision that since I have so many clothes down to a size 10 that I'm taking the Seamless Pledge, and I am not going to buy any new clothes until I reach my goal weight of 150.  I'm super excited about this, I can thrift for stuff and I'm not including under garments or shoes in this, I can't make those (yet).  So I'm hoping you'll be hearing more from me this year as I shrink.

 

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